so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
