When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
