He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
