just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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