Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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