On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
whose parrot is this?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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