I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize