I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
