I just made out with a guy for $7.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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