it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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