I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
