she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
