Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
