So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize