Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(208): View more from Idaho

I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.

Fav 11 1011 2669
share tweet
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Sharpest. Poop. Ever.

Fav 39 1355 8235
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom

Fav 57 915 5400
share tweet
(850): View more from Florida

i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...

Fav 6 1433 3216
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.

Fav 7 4580 1306
share tweet
(618): View more from Illinois

I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?

Fav 11 1566 3487
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries

Fav 4 3331 991
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(540): View more from Virginia

Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.

Fav 3 714 742
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(714): View more from California

I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...

Fav 0 39 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT