i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
