I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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