you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
