Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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