i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
