if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize