hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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