a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
