dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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