She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
