We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
