somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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