And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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