I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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