with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
