you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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