I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
