don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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