When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
