Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
