WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
