WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
