Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I think my fart just growled at me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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