I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
