Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
