Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
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Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
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But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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