we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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