Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
