please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
