Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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