If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
