well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
