is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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