there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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