He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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