our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
