They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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