I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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