shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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