AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
