I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
