Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
