I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
