Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
