I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
