Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
