So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
