the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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