I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
And then he peed in my hair
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