I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
