Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
