I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
