normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??