Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw