Are you dead
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I cut my penus on the lid.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.