before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
