Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain