I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
